One of my last counselling sessions was a difficult one.
I had multiple ailings to discuss and was just feeling hopeless about everything.
One thing I find difficult is admitting when I’m wrong and then having to receive the confirmations about that fact from other people. In this case, it was my counsellor.
It’s like: “I know I was wrong and I feel awful, but I have got to stay here and hear that re-affirmed.” It sucks.
I don’t know about you, but I’d much prefer to rush into the part where I can make it up and feel absolved.
However, the process must be respected.
I just made a major misjudgement with someone in my life and didn’t fully realise at the time; so was consequentially punishing myself for it.
For those who know me quite well: when I know I’ve hurt someone, it breaks my heart (not being dramatic) – I hate hurting those I love.
Nonetheless, my counsellor also reminded me that I am human and mistakes are made, it’s okay as long as I continue to learn from them (and not do it again 🥲).
We talked through my thought process and figured out why I chose the actions I did; and helped me to see the other perspective. It’s important to note that you can hurt people even and especially when it’s not your intention to. And even if it wasn’t your intention, if they feel hurt, their feelings are always valid.
The person I hurt had already forgiven my actions, but I realised I hadn’t forgiven myself.
How often is it that we find we are punishing ourselves for mistakes we’ve made unnecessarily? As well as fully understanding my actions, I had to forgive myself during this session and move forward. Easier said than done.
Again this session was a more difficult one, but as always I am learning and healing myself session by session.
This thing called Life is everything at once, sooo much to learn and experience.
I hope you all are staying blessed and got something from my post today 🥰
Counselling isn’t always sugar and rainbows, but it’s most definitely worthwhile 👌🏾
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