Where Do We Go From Here?

I look at you now

And all I feel is distance

I’m sat but a few centimetres away

Yet it feels like miles

It’s been a bumpy season

Miscommunication, assumptions and unhappiness

Take some space you say?

At first it was a “no”, but now I’m not so sure

Is this what love in a relationship is supposed to be?

Used to be on the same page

Now feeling unequally yolked

Doubting all future plans

I want to go home

Counting down the days

I shouldn’t be looking forward to it

But being with you is so lonely at present

I thought I knew what our future held

Now I’m grateful things have been slow

Less carnage if we don’t grow

Less disappointment for you being a no show

I’m trying hard to communicate

I know I’m not the best

But every time I open my mouth

It leaves a heavier weight on my chest

Do I want this anymore?

Do you still?

I’m no longer able to navigate

Feel like I’m here against my will

I don’t wish to disappoint

But so many questions left unasked

I’m now afraid to even speak

Almost certain this relationship won’t last

I still love you, I think

But love itself was never enough

I question whether my judgement was correct

Now I’m calling my own bluff