Anyone else become completely stumped when it comes to figuring out if someone likes you?
Am I all alone on this confused hill of mine?
With my counsellor, I have been discussing relationships and how I have never been able to tell if someone I like, likes me back. I mean unless you just come out and say it – which is rare in my experience.
Sighs*
I brought up a platonic relationship I had and listed all the things we do e.g. how long and often we have conversations, what we talk about, etc. My counsellor then deduced that the person likes me, I replied with a straight face look haha. I responded with: “Well what if they just view me as a good friend, and that’s it?” – she said: “That could be true too.”
You see my dilemma 🙂
But one thing, my counsellor said that made me think was that she thought this person regards me as “special” to them (taking into consideration the conversations we have). I’ve banked that thought for now and kept it moving, I’ll keep watching and waiting. One thing I’ve learned is that time reveals all, so I’m going to exercise my patience as it is a virtue after all.
Isn’t it funny that in a relationship, one person can think one thing, and the other can be thinking something completely different? I’ve been in that position before, I’ve been close to someone and liked them, but in the end I found they just saw a friendship… What comes to mind here is a miscommunication regarding boundaries (such a serious word, but necessary).
When I look back at that friendship, I realise the boundaries were majorly blurred, which led to the inevitable miscommunication of feelings. I used to think I could trust people to put sufficient boundaries in place, but I realise that’s my job, especially where my heart is concerned. In my past relationships, I have let the guy set the boundaries which has always left me needing to heal in a foetal position.
Therefore, as well as firm boundaries being put in place and putting my feelings through an objective filter, I will also be challenging myself in future to have the slightly awkward conversations. The ones that usually consist of the question: “Is this just a friendship or…?”. And instead of being embarrassed, I’ll be proud as I’ve communicated that clarity is necessary for any kind of continuance. The guarding of my heart is top priority – my God doesn’t play y’all.
I am still figuring out how to tell if someone I like, likes me back. I guess I’ll just have to wait until I like someone and I’ll utilise my observation and communication skills – see where that gets me.
As I close, I want to ask you, are there any signs you look out for in confirming if someone is returning your feelings? Besides the obvious, just coming out and telling you.
Be blessed y’all.
