Empty

What is this void I am trying to fill?
Comfort food, promiscuity, and razor blades
Where does it all go?
I don’t feel full.

 

Within me lies a bottomless pit, a black hole
All of these comforts I use to help my spirit gets sucked into the darkness
Making this void bigger still

 

I’m afraid.
What if I can never feel complete?
What else will I turn to?
What else can I turn to?

 

God I know you’re there.
I know you’re within my grasp
But from where I’m standing it’s easier still to turn to bad habits instead of turning to you

 

*sigh*

 

So tired
So spent
So wanting to be done, but not done.

 

I’m so confused.
Do I even make sense anymore?
I want to be done with myself and my life, but I also want you Lord.
I know I can’t do both.

 

How do I choose?

 

Everytime I feel the emptiness of the void within
It’s second nature to cut, have sex, comfort eat
I want my second nature to be praise, worship and prayer
I want you to be my second nature.
I want you to fill my void.

 

Fill me Lord.
Be my everything.
My all.