Both our hearts breaking beneath the weight of goodbye,
the pain returning as though it were the very first time.
You were someone I prayed for, but never really thought I would get,
you came unexpectedly, I was ready, or so I thought.
After labouring on myself, nursing my wounds and healing,
I was ready to explore and put my heart on the line, again.
I thought you were too good to be true,
spending time with you, I never got tired, forever wanting more.
The memories made, so special,
filled with love and wonder, love I never knew could be for someone like me.
Then the doubts took hold, relentless and all-consuming,
confusion settled in, and the war within my heart left me trembling between what I wanted and what I knew.
What do I do? Is this still something that centres alignment? Or is it me?
Making a final decision: it wasn’t everything my heart wanted, nor was I ready to receive it.
Honesty, transparency, and integrity are woven deeply into the fabric of my heart,
continuing on, knowing what I now know, would be wicked.
Remaining in blissful ignorance with you,
it could only last so long.
You deserve one hundred percent, whilst I can only give you eighty,
in another world, a better world, I would give you my all.
I wish I could give you my all,
if my heart had its way, I would.
The moment for our conversation finally came,
and I could see your heart breaking before my very eyes.
Sometimes, being an empath feels like a curse,
and this was one of those moments when I wished I couldn’t feel so deeply.
I watched you gather the pieces of yourself,
put on a brave face,
and with a heart that I knew was hurting,
you looked at me and quietly said, “it’s okay”.
Both our hearts breaking beneath the weight of goodbye.
What we shared was earnest,
etched into every photograph, memories woven into my heart.
No reasoning could rewrite what was real, it’s carved in stone,
I never believed I deserved you, not when I’m incapable of giving you my all.
As tears trail down my cheeks,
I remind myself that I made the right choice.
It hurts more than words could ever say,
but I have to believe that even this too shall pass.
I pray you find your one hundred, the one who gives her all the way you gave,
you deserve no less.
I’m mourning the future we could have had, the most beautiful one yet,
yet I’m grateful to have known a love like yours, even if another gets to hold the space I once hoped would be mine.
Both our hearts breaking beneath the weight of goodbye,
the pain returning as though it were the very first time.
❤️