My heart beats faster, I start to sweat;
I clench my hands wishing someone were here to hold them.
I have flashbacks, shocks me to my core;
suddenly I am scared, I tremble at the thought of it.
No one knows the storm going on within my mind, stuck on replay, day after day.
I wake up in the morning, going through my normal routine; my body running on autopilot.
A simple task: travelling on the bus to work, turns into an unwanted replay of traumatic events; being made a victim again.
It is uncanny how every flashback feels like the original, each experience takes a little bit more of life out of me.
Just when I have managed to recover, I have questions: left, right, and centre. “Are you okay?”
My response : “I’m fine” *laughs*
I really did believe I was fine, the first 5 times I was asked; only after that did I have to ask myself. “Am I really okay?”
Honestly? I am not 100 percent, I feel alone in my feelings of fear and vulnerability. Everytime I try to speak, my throat constricts. I am trapped in my little ball of fear, no one can get in and I cannot escape it.
Am I Truly Alone?
******************
