Dear Mother,
We have been through a lot, things I’ve healed from and things I’ll probably always battle with.
I mourn for what could’ve been. I miss the good memories where you hugged me and told me you loved me. I sometimes indulge in those memories of my childhood.
I miss the nicknames: hunnypie, sweetiepie and pudding.
There were also memories that I’d love to forget, times when my brain likes to go to that door at the very back of my mind, where all the darkness is stored, and give me a flashback. Those memories still hurt.
Maybe my inner child will always hurt.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we never get to know those reasons. But I am grateful for everything I’ve learned and the strength I’ve mustered in my healing.
No one person should be the source of someone happiness, but it’s disheartening to know I could not be a part of yours.
I’m so thankful to see you living your life and seeing happiness in you. I’m thankful that after everything you’ve found where you want to be and what you want to do.
You did your best. You loved the best way you knew how and for that I’m grateful.
Just know I love you and I wish you all the joy in everything you do.
You’ll always be the woman who brought me into this world ❤️❤️
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