*insert* Now there are some counselling sessions where your counsellor reads your behind like a book. And I mean “read” like telling you about yourself FULLY.
And that is precisely what happened to me.
Now I have been having a situation recently (well, over the last few months) and there’s always something new or questionable about it.
One session: I’m feeling one way, the next session: I’m feeling the opposite, the session after, I am finding something new that alters my feelings once again. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster.
So most recently, I divulged some information I thought I already disclosed. But my counsellor was quick to tell me: she did not know, and that I’m in my current (non-ideal) situation because of my reluctance to communicate clearly.
— whooooaaaa chile
And it’s true. I was just scared of the outcome, as I realised I knew what it was.
Talking present tense, I was no longer scared of the outcome (that I knew was coming) because my feelings had completely changed. But a couple of months ago, my heart was in a different place, and wanting of something I knew wasn’t being made available.
Hence, my pussyfooting around the topic and barely communicating about what needed to be clarified.
Now encompassing everything that had happened (this is private) my counsellor laid it out (and me!) with all the facts she was sprouting.
And I sat there and received, it wasn’t easy but it was the truth I needed to hear.
Although I have come a long way in regards to my healing from toxic relationships, I find there is still something within me that will allow or delay certain things because of my feelings. With that, I definitely fear how my honesty and setting of boundaries will affect these situations.
However, I realise that if by my being honest and setting healthy boundaries changes how a situation is progressing, it is definitely NOT at a detriment. It’s for my good and I know the people who deserve to be in my life will respect and get with it, as I would with them.
So after my straightforward talking-to from my counsellor, I was ready for my honest conversation to address certain things that I had let slide.
As soon as my session was over, I called the individual and politely addressed the points that were giving me issues over the last couple months. And it resulted in gaining much needed clarity and closing the door on it.
What a relief!
And just like that, this issue of back and forth over the last few months has been eradicated and is no longer weighing heavy on me. There is something so freeing that comes from being honest and receiving clarity. It’s so important to know where you stand in every situation you are in. Your feelings matter, and less people get hurt when transparency is apparent.
It took a reading of my life (from my counsellor) to have the conversation I’d been avoiding. But I am grateful. I’m in a much better place and one step closer to living my life even more authentically.
Clarity is key to moving forward!
