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Perfectly Imperfect SJ

I am a Black Christian woman navigating life a day at a time. Here's to feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Perfectly Imperfect SJ

I am a Black Christian woman navigating life a day at a time. Here's to feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

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Dear Diary

Anyone Else Lost?

By samara.johnson
26/06/2021 2 Min Read
0

I feel that I frequently return back to my position, on my bed, staring at the ceiling thinking: “WTF is this life?”

Please don’t let me be the only one.

About 85% of the time (90% on those real wonderful days) I have no freaking idea what I am doing. Or if I’m doing the right thing. Or if there’s something else that I should be doing.

Just writing this is making me tired child.

Sigh***

I remember my Mother saying one time: “Everything is impermanent” and I cannot tell you how that freaked me out at the time.

In my mind I was like: “Noooo! I don’t certain things to end or finish”. As humans, we really do tend to hold onto things sometimes. We can’t help it, we are a relationship people. We crave people and their (mostly) good energy.

But what came to my mind at that time was all the relationships I’d formed, friendships, the security I’d cultivated for myself. The thought of all of that ending one day made me wonder…

What is the point??

Anybody with me?

I’m currently sitting on my bed, looking out the window, listening to some music, thinking to myself once again “what is the point?”.

I’ll be so completely honest with you, some days really don’t feel worthy of life (that’s probably my low mood talking). But nonetheless, it feels that way. And I know when that happens I’ve completely lost. Lost my vision that is.

I’m not wanting to make this a dark post, but a truly honest one. I definitely believe a lot more of us question whether life is worth living. And who can blame us, life was never meant to be easy.

Nonetheless something always keeps me going, whether it be family or my purpose. I’m thankful that I’m always reminded of my worth before I’m too far gone.

Anyone else had moments where they’ve pondered their life and it’s worthiness? What pulled you back from the edge? Was it worth it?

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DarknessFamilyLifeLivePurposeThoughtsTruthVision
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samara.johnson

I'm just a woman seeking to express herself freely without anyone's judgement and unwanted opinions. Just read and reflect. May my art be catharsis for you.

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