Thank God, I am not You

I’m sinking

Lower and lower
The surface is so far away
I’m not even fighting it anymore

I’m panicking

My breathing restricted
I want to get out
I don’t know how

My heart wants to explode

There’s too much strain
I need an outlet
An escape from this pain

I know why I feel this

It’s because I have distanced myself
From my one true love
The Holy One above

I keep on sinning

Telling myself it won’t matter
Because I don’t matter
Where did this come from?

I’m losing control

I’m lost and I’m scared
I want to be found
I don’t want to be dead

I need to open my heart

Take a deep breath
Make the first step
And God will do the rest

I want to feel peace

I want the best
I want a good sleep
I want Jesus Christ

I want to stop deteriorating

I want to be straight
I want the hate to go away
I want to pour love into myself

This is one of those moments

Where no other human can help you
I’m crying out Lord
Am I worth the trouble?

If I were You I wouldn’t

I’d think it were a waste of time
I’d leave me to rot
And move on with my time

But that’s why You’re God

And not any of us down here
Because you’re on a different plain to us
You make sense of what’s unclear

I feel a little relief

I know it’ll take time
And I’ll persevere
Because your love will always be mine