Another session has passed and boy… This was one to process.
I will always be an advocate of counselling and I am happy to spew all the benefits that come from it. But sometimes in order to get to higher places of enlightenment of oneself, you gotta wade through those trenches.
In my last session, my counsellor let it be known “she was not going to go easy on me”. And she did not disappoint.
This session focused on my relationship with my Dad and my paternal Grandad. This is still something I am currently processing, so I won’t be divulging into that. However, I will talk about something else that came to light in my session and throughout the following week.
So again, to reiterate relationships are what I’m focusing on at the moment. This led to me discussing an interest that had been permeating my mind. And I came to realise I had a few issues regarding how to act, how I would know if someone is interested in me and labels 👀 (oh those labels).
My counsellor nodded and smiled as she knows me so well and said “patience”. Now waiting – for me – is one of the hardest things. If I know (or hope) an outcome is going to be good, I want it now! Haha! My counsellor began to unpack it a little, and very simply stated that it’s still early days and it’s somewhat inevitable that the conversation would crop up and that would erase all the question marks I currently had floating inside my head.
I took that and I was satisfied. I told myself “just have patience, it will come”. I was not sure what “it” would be, but I know that time reveals all, so I can’t lose can I?
God’s timing is the best timing.
I also began reading a Bible plan about sex and relationships, and the gems were exactly what I needed to hear. “Now screams louder, later lasts longer” and “Put your feelings through an objective filter”.
The first quote speaks to deferred gratification and essentially patience; the second gives insight into addressing your feelings. When thinking about someone I may be interested in, I have always gone with my heart (seeing and hoping for the best, ignoring red flags and praying that God would fix certain things) – we all know how that last one goes 🥲
But as I’ve grown older, I’ve seen the value of including a more objective stance when it comes to these situations. It’s akin to a fog clearing and being able to see clearly again. Long story short, I began applying an objective filter to my feelings and I noticed some changes… (now that’s for me to meditate on). But I do wonder, if I had always applied an objective filter to my feelings, how much less hurt would I have experienced?
Nonetheless, I want to ask when it comes to relationships, do you follow your head or your heart? And if you only follow one, why not consider doing a collaboration of both instead? The differences can make one ponder 💭
When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.
Bojack Horseman
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