Weaponising Me
Should I open my mouth and tell you my thoughts? You breathe deep, Passively listen. And tell me my thoughts are wrong. The way I think, pisses you off. Is it because my thoughts challenge you? As opposed to gratifying your ego. Man, you are too…
Not Sure Yet
Displaced. Moving around, trying to find my home. No luck. Each place feels lonlier than the last. I don’t know where I want to be right now. But that’s not quite true… If I’m being completely honest, there’s no where I want…
Compressed Thoughts
I try to write, but my words are too jumbled to make full sentences No relief from this pressure and torment I just want to cry But I can’t – it’ll just be an inconvenience I want cuddles and someone to just listen, but my person has a…
Melanin in this Skin
Do you know what it’s like to have melanin in your skin? To be degraded and labelled as “less than”? To be sidelined, bullied and harassed? For some people, these are not the first things that come to mind when we think about melanated skin. Most people…
Church Hurt- Bible College Edition
How does one even begin? I’ll be honest, this has taken a good while to process and there is still a ways to go. But I’ve definitely come a long way. My relationship with church life has always been touch and go, not helped by my frequent…
Lesson Number
Pain. Darkness. Regret. All these things I feel after doing the deed. No matter how many times I make the same mistake. I am never prepared for the deep hurt I cause myself. Tears come to my eyes. A tightness in my chest. All I want is to curl up in a…
Roller-Coaster
You came into my life like a breath of fresh air, You scared me and enticed me both at the same time. You were different, new, somewhat unpredictable, My complete opposite. I like routine, stability and familiarity, You held not one of these attributes,…
My Bed
It’s past 11 and I lay in bed with nothing to comfort me but my duvet. No one knows me like my bed All alone, feeling lonely I listen to my heart beat,wondering when or if I’ll ever feel another man’s touch. No one knows me like my bed I ponder the…
Real Life vs Imagined Love
Never one to be obnoxious about my personal attributes, but I would say I am a pretty well-rounded person. And I have just realised that in wanting something really badly, I have turned into someone I don’t even recognise… It started rather…
Infinite Rendering of Hearts in our Lifetime
I have just quite possibly had my heart rendered numb. Tears run down my face as I try to steady my breathing. I lie in my bed thinking “how could I have gotten it so wrong?” I had just been told by someone I love that they don’t have romantic…